Babies are helpful around the house

So apparently babies are great floor cleaners, right?
Words to the wise-- Zero to $500K in 18 years.

Cost of Swiffer at Duane Reade-- $7.99.

Babies are a joke in Dane Cook's repertoir

Some sounds, when they hit you, they just make you want to punch a baby? God help you if you're in a nursery! You'll go on a baby-punching tangent! GOD HELP ME! IT'S THE SOUND THAT MAKES ME PUNCH INFANTS!-- Dane Cook

Let's just put it this way, Dane Cook does not need any more fodder, and babies apparently are supplying his endless chain of refueling. Do we need any more proof of babies' evil? Babies + existence = Dane Cook.
'nuff said

Babies cry over split milk

Contrary to the popular saying, babies do INDEED cry over spilt milk. So much for truth in advertising.